The true nature of Bacon's return – yeah man, every frood knows Bacon gets capitalized – was a sandwich. The tastiest sandwich I've had in over a week, for today, on this the sunniest of Sundays, on the thirdiest third day of the most Octoberesque October that ever was in 2010, I returned from rowing at one very quarty quarter to twelve to find in the fridge the most delectable of delicacies: BACON. Oh yes, that's right, happy October ladies and gents! Didst thou enjoy September? I did. I'd rank this September among my top 20 Septembers!
After that, the day went pretty well. All days go well after bacon. Illness? Not today! To porkiness and beyond!
And another, final, thing: thou mayst have noticed that I am avoiding the ridiculous pronoun "you" in all instances and its derivatives. That, my dear fellows, is simple: "you" is silly. Observe the table of personal pronouns:
| Nominative | Accusative | Possessive |
| I | me | my |
| you | you | your |
| thou | thee | thy |
| he | him | his |
| she | her | her |
| we | us | our |
| they | them | their |
Doth thou see? Canst thou spot the flaw? "you" is identical to "you." Fortunately "thou" is not identical to "thee." Of course, "her" and "her" are annoying too, but I don't know any four-hundred-year-old alternative which fixes that, except for supposing that females own nothing, however, that would be sexism, and I would not allow it!
Yours self-righteously,
Robin James
Chief of Grammar
No comments:
Post a Comment
If you particularly enjoyed today's instalment from my brain, let my brain know by posting a comment. Especially let me know if my brain made a mistake during its nattering, as I will need to give it disciplinary action.