Fire Alarms and Time Travel

Yeah, so, after turning up late to school due to an overindulgent shower and a lack of vegetable oil, I had to endure a fire drill.

Since that was possibly the most noteworthy event of the day, I think the time is right for me to reveal my theory against any possibility of time travel, both for myself personally and, hence, all mankind ever, without arguments involving violations of causality – I'll save paradoxes for later.

First of all, if you assume that at some point in my life I personally build a time machine, I would meet myself at some point between 2003 and now before doing anything else, which, evidently, I didn't.

Second of all, if you assume that I do other almost as amazing stuff in my life, you can assume that any future time-traveller would take a trip to meet me in order to correct and/or poach my ideas, much as would happen to Benjamin Franklin and Leonardo da Vinci respectively.^†

Upon this event – no matter what their guise or their time machine's cloaking device – I would undoubtedly hijack the time-traveller's vehicle and meet myself at some point between 2003 and now, which, evidently, I didn't. Even if a time-traveller doesn't come to meet me, they should at least visit Earth between now and my death, hence giving me the chance to commandeer a time machine.

So, to conclude, since I have not yet met my future self, it is logical to assume that no-one descendent from Earthly simians or indeed with any knowledge of human science will ever invent a controllable form of time-travel. Damned logic.

Tomorrow is French Thursday!

^†Ben, you got the charges the wrong way around. Though, granted if he'd done it properly we'd be stuck with the neutron, the electron and the absurd-sounding "negatron". Actually, that's way cooler than "proton". Ah man, Franklin!